Tall Tales From A Short Canadian

Dear readers,

For those of you unfamilar with the expression “assa!”, it essentially boils down to a big, fat “Yyyyessss!!!” in English. This is exclaimed by Koreans, especially children, during moments of elation (such as that experienced when they get candy from Tee Cha Su Tee Bun, when they beat their classmates in recreational or academic activities, or when they blow to fragments their digital enemies online). I have included it in today’s title, because, a few things aside, all is pretty bloody a’ight.

I saw a very polite, articulate doctor today who told me that she did not believe I have scabies, mites, lice, crabs, or any other parasitic problem (this deserves the biggest “assa!”). And sure enough, since taking the allergy medicine she prescribed for me, my itch is almost a thing of the past. What’s more, my cough is nearly gone, the matter which I cough up is no longer black, florescent orange, or dark green, and my eyes begin to again twinkle with health and charm. I am also adjusting nicely to my new ‘hood, and to my job, and I guess a month or two is a pretty acceptable adjustment period for a dramatic change of livelihood and residence any way. 

Last night, I went out for a fun, low-key night of eating and drinking with three of the teachers I work with, two Koreans and a kiwi. One Korean is a wonderfully nice lady who is the key mediator and interpreter between the school director and the waygoogins (honkeys, foreigners, expats) at the hagwon, and the other is my home room kindergarten teacher (nice lady, funny as shit, and lately becoming quite helpful in the classroom). Hanging out with Koreans here is the way to go, because you really get the inside scoop on customs, good things to eat, where to eat ‘em, good substances to drink, where to drink ‘em, and if you’re fortunate, you may be introduced to enjoyable drinking games for becoming swiftly and efficiently drunk (fortunately, last night’s events never quite reached that stage). We left what is now beginning to seem like sleepy little Haeundae, and took the subway to Kyungsung, a nearby happening University district. Little did I realize that, while food and drink in Haeundae is cheaper than it is in Seoul, the rest of Busan has cheaper food and drink than either. We shared a huge, spicy chicken stew, which was mind-fuckingly good, four bamboo bottles of delicious, high-grade soju, a monster pitcher of maekjoo (that’s beer), a platter of fruit, french fries, and other goodies,  and crushed ice with berries and chocolate sauce. I was fretting a bit when it came time to tally up the cost, but my worries were easily dismissed when I was told I owed 12,000 won (about $13) for everything. Not bad! It was fun to get out to a little more of a hip area, to see some people (Kelly and I were pretty excited to see a lesbian couple on the subway– you’ll understand if you ever experience the cookie-cutter confucionist conformity of most of Korea), and to have some drinks. Another thing that is awesome about having Korean friends is you have so much time to practice your Korean. They love to help. Three hours of conversation last night did more for my Korean than weeks of studying my little indispensible Korean handbook.

While I understand my initial assessment of Busan was that it is colder, more remote, and just not as exciting or convenient as Seoul, my attitude has since done a 360 (with a tail grab, how’s about). Busan is better! Where I live honestly is beginning to feel like a resort town on the edge of a fairly big city, which I guess it pretty much is. Looking at a map today, after our beach and the other more remote beach past that, there really is nothing but rocks, waves, and squid-toting ajumas. U2, the bar which is located conveniently and dangerously below my apartment, feels a lot like the Farside (for those of you wondering: “What the fuck is he talking about?!”, you can replace the name ‘Farside’ with a familiar, comfortable small-town bar of your choice). The cool, chain-smoking  DJ named Joo (a name which translates as ‘booze’) downloads whatever song you want off the internet and plays it. Lately when he sees me come in (once or twice a week, tops!), he plays songs by the Sea and Cake, Pavement, and other great bands. I like that.

Seoul is a big, congested, polluted hive of nausea-inducing intensity compared to this (in my oh-so humble opinion). Busan is much more my speed. The people still push, shove, spit, scowl, and piss me off, but far less than in Seoul. Almost every day here, a Korean approaches me and offers to help me with something, whether I need it or not. Today, a well-spoken Korean guy helped me buy a mattress cover. An employee at this PCbang worked fervently for a half-hour trying to hook up a CD reader so I could look at my photos, and wouldn’t accept my money when he failed. The guy down the street gives me deals on these delicious berry-stuffed, deep-fried fish-shaped cookie things I’ve become hooked on. The expats aren’t as full of themselves here, either. They actually (usually) do say hello, whereas in Seoul, you were usually regarded by fellow foreigners with the same general disinterest that everybody has for one another there. Intimacy doesn’t come easy, I guess, in a city of 15-20 million. Busan is a manageable 5 million, although the population swells here in the summer by a couple million.

Check this interesting morsel of trivia out: Word has it that Haeundae beach is the second most popular (in other words, crowded) beach in the world (the most popular is in Rio De Genaro… I spell that right?). Anyway, I can’t remember if I mentioned this earlier, but an average of 1.5 million people visit the beach across the road from my apartment every day during the summer. Try to imagine what that will be like. It will be like everyone from Calgary, and half the people from Edmonton squeezing on to a beach together. It’s not that big of a beach! Apparently, the whole street is just a big party/rodeo/nightmare/circus/piss-up for two solid months… which’ll have its fun moments, I reckon.

As some of you may recall, I was always a bit possessive of my little home valley when the spring Albertan invasion began, and was greatly relieved when it subsided in the fall. This year, I have a feeling my experience will be similar, times about 200. Anyway, summer will be intense.

My shoe-box wonrum beckons.

Eatin’ lots o’ fish,

Tee Cha Su Tee Bun