Tall Tales From A Short Canadian

Knee How,

Last weekend, Nicole and I ventured north to our thus-far favorite Korean weekend destination: Gyeongju. We stayed in the same hotel as last time (blue-lights, jacuzzi-tub, pimped-out, and only minutes from Korea’s biggest Buddhist temple complex!), and enjoyed an even mellower vibe than last time when we visited during mine and the Buddha’s coinciding birthdays. That’s not to say there weren’t tourists. Oh, there were many! But there was no band this time, and the general feeling was slower. Although I read that the fall foliage was not up to snuff this year, due to a very late autumn, it was nonetheless breathtaking. And on this trip, there was not only one photographer blasting off shots with machine-gun indiscrimination, but two. I bought Nicole a Canon Powershot A640, a sweet little number with a kick-ass zoom and higher pixel density than my own (and a bit cheaper and more compact). She was starting to get bored always waiting for me to shoot the same picture nine or ten times. Problem solved.

Caught in the Crossfire…

Introduction: Some funny extras…

We were served watered down Americanos by Ass Man.

Then we were preceeded up to the Buddhist temple entrance by Cash Bitch. The words were written across her chest also.

Temples and Trees, in all their glory…

As some of you perhaps know, my photos all get a final shine in Photoshop. I assure you, however, that I did nothing to the color balance or saturation of the majority of these photos. The reds were so red out there, they made my eyes bleed.

The above picture gives you an sense of the enormity of Bulguksa. Look closely. That’s Nicole in the blue T-shirt. She walked right into my line of fire! Rattattat!

Above: my top model.

After collectively taking 600 or so photos, we grabbed a little bottle of ginseng wine, called Bekseju, my guitar, and a piece of turf outside of the temple. I sang love ballads as we gazed into the sunset. Not really!

Ah! Relaxation. It affected our well-being positively until about 3 PM on Monday, when it disappeared altogether.

Good things about Korea: food, temples, transportation, doctors (about 1/15 what they cost in Canada), clothes, overall costs, great theaters, jobs-a-plenty, saunas, safety, and overall convenience.

Bad things about Korea: xenophobia, superficiality, tambae, rudeness, pollution, MSG, lack of respect for the elderly (Confucianism, my ass), the smell of sewage everywhere, and everyone is always speaking Korean!

Good things about Canada: multi-ethnicity, coffee (Tim’s), hockey, nature, wild animals, space, clean air and water, friends and family, and everyone is speaking English (well, mostly).

Bad things about Canada: taxes, student loans, student loan interest rates, Stephen Harper, housing costs, medical costs, food costs, gas costs, education costs, a false sense of national superiority, inferior public transportation, and a lying, bloodsucking, and corrupt government.

Sorry about that digression. I just did some paperwork and realized that out of all the hard-earned money I’ve been dropping on my student loans, only about 1/3 of it has been going towards principal. And the rest? Someone up the chain, I’m sure, is having a great time with my money! It pisses me off. Kids, my advice to you: stay out of school, unless you have the money to pay for it upfront. We saw some fireworks last night. They were one beach over, but I managed to position myself for a couple decent photos. I’ll leave you with one of them.

suteebun