Poto Time!
Cheerio!
When exactly is it photo (poto to the natives) time around here? All of the time is POTO TIME! I’m in for a little derogatory Korean-bashing–I know I am. It’s been building up for months. I really do try to balance the negatives with the positives, but alas, as winter approaches and the beach days, short skirts, and colorful leaves disappear, Korea becomes dismal and dreary, and I begin to notice the blemishes more. What I am talking about most specifically is a kind of cultural vanity I can barely stomach. And if I am being culturally insensitive: I am sorry! I love the Korean people and am fond of many Koreans personally. The following are true stories, however, that I just need to get off my chest.
VANITY
As I have mentioned in previous posts, the Koreans are a well-dressed lot, although they haven’t quite developed much individuality yet, especially in Busan. For now, south of the capital, there is a kind of uniformity to the fashion: tall boots, high heels, fake fur, toques (year-round–that’s ‘beanies’ for the kiwis), pink shirts, David Bowie haircuts for boys, etc. All-in-all, these people look sharp. They know it. They flaunt it. They take photos of themselves non-fucking-stop! Sometimes it is pretty natural. Some friends visiting Haeundae beach take a few tourist shots in front of the ocean. Whatever. Sometimes, however, it is blatant vanity. I have watched several girls taking pictures of themselves over and over and over again, tirelessly, for up to an hour at a time. They’ll pose, shoot, examine the results, reposition slightly, and shoot again. A visit to Starbuck’s scarcely resembles a visit to a Canadian franchise. Everyone here is dressed for poto-time. Couples sit, scarcely talking, and take pictures of each other, look at the results, and giggle. The other night Nicole and I were at a little Vietnamese restaurant having some pho (not at our favorite, comically-named joint: Pho Kim… pho kim anyways!). A Korean couple came in, sat down, and ordered. They were both dressed like movie stars, the girl wearing some kind of mink scarf and dark, round sunglasses (at night). They barely spoke to each other. They seemed each to be merely a flattering accessory to the other. The snobbish, petulant woman, with not a trace of a smile, took close-up pictures of herself the entire time we were there. What a vain freak!
Not only is it poto-time here 24/7, but it is always mirror time, too. It seems that mirrors are positioned everywhere, and they reflect a good many Korean faces steadily. The Koreans love to look at themselves, it seems. I have ridden the subway and watched young men and women stare into their own reflections for their entire 1/2 hour trip, gently tugging their hair this way and that. I think that ALL Korean Women have little pocket mirrors. It is not uncommon to walk into Starbucks and see a table of four young women all doing their make-up over coffee, or their eyelashes, or just staring at themselves vacantly in some reflection or photograph. What is going on here? It’s weird. It is funny to watch sometimes, and rarely sickens me like the instant with the girl at the pho shop did. It’s fun to watch them walk down the street and look at themselves in the reflection of every car window that they pass. It’s funny to see them obsess about every little hair, or see them pulling their gangster toques straight in July, or picking at their gums after a snack until their smile is again picture-perfect. Koreans spend an above-average amount of income percentage on beautification, according to Korean news.
RUDENESS
The rudeness in this country can be astounding. I am still amazed by it sometimes. It is true that, paradoxically, Korean’s can be incredibly helpful and extremely friendly, but their capacity for outright rudeness is where they really shine. Generally, when back in Canada, and now here in Korea, I will hold the elevator door open for someone if I hear the faintest of footsteps approaching. Thrice in recent times have I been rejected from elevators. Once, the man in the elevator kept pressing the door-close button even as I entered, effectively smashing me twice between the steel doors. Failing to kill me or turn me away, he swore and left the elevator, refusing to ride with a foreigner. Just this week, I was a second delayed in jumping in the elevator, and some crusty old ajuma sandwiched me with the doors with no remorse whatsoever. She even had a trace of a sardonic smile, methinks. Another time, I ran, hearing the door closing, yelling for the elevator passengers to wait for me. Relieved, I smiled at the cold, expressionless face of a woman staring back at me until it disappeared between the doors! Bitch!
I cannot even count the times that people have tried to bud ahead of me in line here. It happens nearly everytime. Sometimes it is so brazen, it is enfuriating. You can be standing at the front of the line in Starbucks, eyes on the menu and money poised in hand, and have someone wave their cash in front of you and essentially barge right in… and this when there is no one else at all waiting in line behind you! I have been pushed, jostled and weaseled out of line by men, women, elders, and even kids. I was recently told by a fellow waygoogin (expat) a story about him being in line at the cash register of a grocery store and having a little old lady just kind of toss her goods in front of him so she could get in front. Around here, you snooze, even for a heartbeat, and you do lose. Occasionally, I play the same game, but generally, I prefer to exercise the considerate gentlemanliness I was taught growing up. Do these examples amuse or surprise you? I am really just scratching the surface.
POOR TABLE ETIQUETTE
Slurping, burping, spitting… sometimes paying attention to the diners around you in a Korean restaurant can quickly destroy your own eating experience. Unlike we from the west, Koreans don’t seem to mix food with dialogue, and go to eating with the same one-pointed determination and efficiency with which they approach most tasks, it seems. It can often be a noisy and messy enterprise. If they do converse while eating, they don’t bother waiting to speak between mouthfuls of food! The men sometimes snort and gob into a cup or bowl in between mouthfuls of food. I have started to notice that many young people snap their mouths wide open and closed while chewing, making the most of their bestial eating sounds. It is an awful thing to witness, sometimes.
Kay, I’m finished. I really try to show some o’ da good, and some o’ da bad. I mean, it’s all culturally relative any way, isn’t it? And I am painting them all with the same brush. However, when it comes to common courtesy, I kind of believe there are universals. Or should be. I know that for the most part, these Koreans, and Busanites in particular, are just doing what they do and knowing what they know. I see things from a different perspective, naturally, and am just not great at keeping things to myself. Also, as my year-long contract grinds to an end (2 weeks to go!!!), my patience wears thinner than panty hose.
Ciao fer now,
suteebun
